man on church pew clasping head, body bent over in emotional pain — The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. *Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)*

When Faith Becomes a Mask: How Spiritual Bypassing Keeps Christians Stuck in Pain

Have you ever sat in a church service, shared a deep personal struggle, only to hear phrases like:
"Just give it to God."
“Let go and let God.”
"You need to have more faith."
"God works all things for good…"
"You’re a new creation—why are you still struggling with your past?"

While these statements may hold truth, they are often used out of context and out of season, not as tools of healing but as ways to dismiss pain, sidestep real heart work, and offer a shallow form of spirituality.

This is what we call spiritual bypassing—and it is rampant in the Church.

Many Christians are unknowingly bound and broken, lacking true identity in Christ, because they have been trained to bypass their pain rather than confront it in the presence of Jesus. Rather than walking the road of transformation and healing, they have been given shortcuts in the form of Christian clichés, suppression of emotions, and performance-based faith. We must stop turning a blind eye to this form of neglect and spiritual abuse.

Jesus never bypassed brokenness. He healed it.

And if we are to truly walk in freedom, we must stop using spiritual bypassing as a substitute for true healing.

What Is Spiritual Bypassing?

Spiritual bypassing is a false form of spirituality that uses Christian beliefs, Scriptures, or religious behaviors to avoid, suppress, or numb pain, trauma, sin struggles, or emotional wounds instead of dealing with them.

It’s a way to avoid discomfort under the guise of faith.

The term “spiritual bypassing” was originally coined by psychotherapist John Welwood to describe the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices as a way to sidestep unresolved emotional wounds, deep-seated pain, and unfinished personal growth.

Though first introduced in a psychological context, it has long been a very real issue in the Church. At its core, spiritual bypassing is a counterfeit form of healing—disguised as faith but rooted in avoidance, keeping people trapped in cycles of brokenness rather than true transformation.

When faith is used to excuse harm, it’s no longer love—it’s spiritual bypassing. True love heals, restores, and sets free.

Examples of spiritual bypassing in the Church:

Minimizing pain: “God is in control, so just trust Him”—without addressing real emotions, grief, or wounds.
Denying struggles: “If you’re struggling, you must not have enough faith.”
Over-spiritualizing issues: “It’s just an attack from the enemy”—while ignoring personal responsibility, trauma, or heart issues that need healing.
Suppressing emotions: Viewing sadness, anger, grief, or fear as unspiritual, rather than learning how to process them with the Lord.
Masking identity wounds with service: Becoming busy in ministry to avoid deep-rooted wounds and unresolved struggles.
The busybody distraction: Constantly involving themselves in other people’s struggles—talking about, “praying for,” or offering guidance to everyone else—while avoiding their own deep wounds and personal healing
Legalism as a cover-up: Using strict religious practices to suppress personal struggles instead of letting God heal and transform them.

The result? People stay bound.

Rather than experiencing the fullness of their identity in Christ, they continue wearing masks—thinking they are walking in faith when in reality, they are trapped in avoidance, shame, and brokenness.

woman on sofa struggling with brokenness

Ignoring or Covering Up Sin for the Sake of Reputation

One of the most dangerous forms of spiritual bypassing happens when churches ignore, excuse, or cover up sin and brokenness—especially when the person involved is anointed, called, holds a title or position, or has a large following.

Rather than dealing with real heart issues, accountability, or calling people into healing and repentance, the Church sometimes sweeps things under the rug to protect its image, leadership, or influence.

What this can look like:

A pastor is struggling in sin, but instead of receiving healing and restoration, his failures are hidden to preserve the ministry’s reputation.
A worship leader is deeply wounded and operating from brokenness, but because they have an anointing, they are kept in position without healing.
A well-known figure in the church is abusive, manipulative, or prideful, but their gifts are elevated above their character, leaving victims silenced and wounds unhealed.

Leading While Bleeding:
When Unhealed Pastors Wound Their Flock

man with mic pointing his finger at the hearers in arrogance

Another reality of spiritual bypassing in leadership is when a wounded pastor refuses to address their own brokenness, yet continues leading from a place of unresolved pain. Unhealed leaders often wound their flock.

When personal struggles remain buried, they may avoid guiding others into healing because it risks exposing the very wounds they have ignored.

Instead of shepherding with transparency, they distance themselves from deep soul work, offering surface-level solutions while keeping their own struggles hidden.

When the fear of losing influence becomes greater than the call to true holiness and restoration, the result is a culture of pretense—one where wounds are left unhealed, people are left disillusioned, and spiritual bypassing is upheld as the norm.

God does not elevate gifts while ignoring wounds—He desires wholeness, not just influence.

Jesus never excused sin, nor did He cover up brokenness to maintain an image. Instead, He confronted it, healed it, and called people into transformation (John 8:11).

True Healing in the body of Christ begins when we stop valuing influence over integrity and surrender to the refining work of the Holy Spirit—no matter the cost.

two men in a church pew. One is distraught and the other has hand on shoulder speaking with him — We can only lead others as far as we have allowed the Lord to lead us. The depth of our own healing and surrender determines how deeply we can walk others into spiritual growth, identity and freedom.

“Anointing without healing is a burden, not a blessing.”

— Cyndi Matos

How Spiritual Bypassing Hinders Identity and Inner Healing

woman standing before a shattered mirror looking at herself in dismay

If you’ve stayed with me this long, keep pressing in. This may be a lot to take in, but truth brings freedom. Let’s go deeper as we walk through Scripture and uncover how spiritual bypassing keeps us from true healing.

When we use Christian words and concepts as spiritual band-aids, we deny the very process Jesus came to lead us through—real healing, real deliverance, and true transformation into a new life.

Here’s what happens when we bypass:

We Never Face the Root Issues.

If we suppress wounds, we cannot heal them. Jesus calls us to bring our broken places into the light.

John 8:12 (NKJV)
Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

Psalm 32:3-5 (NKJV) (David describes how hiding sin and pain kept him in torment until he brought it into the open.)
”When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah. I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah.”

Jeremiah 6:14 (NKJV) (God rebukes the leaders for healing wounds superficially rather than addressing the root.)
They have also healed the hurt of My people slightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace!’ when there is no peace.

Luke 8:17 (NKJV)
For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light.

Hebrews 12:15 (NKJV) (Bitterness and unresolved pain take root when left unaddressed.)
Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.

→ These verses reveal that when we suppress wounds instead of exposing them to God, they fester. True healing comes only when we bring them into the light, acknowledge them, and allow the Lord to restore us.

We form a false sense of identity.

Instead of walking in true sonship and freedom, we build our identity around performance, perfection, and religious behaviors.

Galatians 4:6-7 (NKJV)
And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.

Colossians 2:20-23 (NKJV)
Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations—”Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,” which all concern things which perish with the using—according to the commandments and doctrines of men? These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.

Romans 8:15 (NKJV)
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

→ These verses show that our identity is in Christ as sons and daughters, not in religious performance or self-righteousness.

We stay bound to patterns of sin, fear, or emotional instability.

We cannot be truly free if we never allow Christ to heal the areas where bondage remains.

John 8:34-36 (NKJV)
Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."

Romans 6:16-18 (NKJV)
Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.

2 Corinthians 3:17 (NKJV)
Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

→ These passages emphasize that true freedom comes through Christ alone, and without allowing Him to heal us, we remain in bondage.

We create an unsafe Church culture.

When leaders model spiritual bypassing, the entire church learns to dismiss deep wounds rather than create a space for healing.

Ezekiel 34:4-6 (NKJV) (God rebukes shepherds who do not care for the flock properly.)
The weak you have not strengthened, nor have you healed those who were sick, nor bound up the broken, nor brought back what was driven away, nor sought what was lost; but with force and cruelty you have ruled them. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd; and they became food for all the beasts of the field when they were scattered. My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and on every high hill; yes, My flock was scattered over the whole face of the earth, and no one was seeking or searching for them.

Matthew 23:25-28 (NKJV) (Jesus rebukes the religious leaders for hypocrisy—appearing holy but being full of decay.)
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

James 5:16 (NKJV)
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

→ These verses highlight the damage of leadership that ignores wounds, prioritizes outward appearance over true healing, and fails to create a culture of honesty and restoration.

Jesus’ Way: True Soul Healing, Not Bypassing

Jesus never told people to ignore their pain. He invited them into healing.

He wept with those who mourned (John 11:35).
He confronted the deep wounds and strongholds in people’s lives (John 4:16-18).
He brought deliverance and deep restoration (Mark 5:1-15).
He never shamed people for their brokenness, but He didn’t leave them there either.

This is the difference between spiritual bypassing and true healing in Christ. One dismisses the wound and calls it faith. The other exposes the wound and calls it into wholeness through Christ.

Avoidance delays freedom, but healing begins the moment we surrender to God’s work in us. It’s time to heal.

Breaking Free: The Path to Real Inner Healing

If you have lived under spiritual bypassing—whether from your church, your upbringing, or your own coping mechanisms—it’s time to break free.

Here’s some steps to get you started on this journey. And know I am praying for you as I write this.

Acknowledge the Wound

Have you been avoiding any areas in your heart that need healing?

Jesus never healed anyone who denied they were sick. Healing starts with acknowledging the pain, the struggle, the past wounds that still affect you.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)

Invite Jesus to the Root

Instead of just repeating a Bible verse to escape the pain, bring your pain to Jesus. Ask Him:

"Lord, where did this wound begin?"
"What lie have I believed about myself?"
"What truth do You want me to know?"

Soul Care and Inner Healing

True healing happens through the process of soul care, discipleship, mind renewal and deliverance. This includes:

Processing emotions with God, a counselor, mentor, pastor or trusted friend, instead of suppressing them. I encourage you to not do this alone
Breaking agreements with lies and replacing them with biblical truth
Walking through forgiveness and renouncing bitterness
Allowing the Holy Spirit to do deep, internal healing work

Embracing True Healing, Not False Spirituality

group of young adults on their knees praying together

The Church should be the safest place to bring brokenness, but too often, spiritual bypassing turns it into a place where wounds are ignored. I often say that if the Church truly embraced its role in healing and discipleship, walking with people through their pain, there would be far less need for therapy and counseling outside the Body of Christ.

As I write this, my heart is heavy. I can sense the weight of so many who are hurting. If you feel alone in your pain, if you're wrestling with confusion—wondering why you, a beloved child of God, are still suffering—hear this:

Your pain is not God's will. He sent His Son to bring healing, freedom, and wholeness to you!

If you’ve been spiritually bypassed—Jesus sees you.

He is not dismissing your pain.
He is not rushing your process.
He is calling you into real healing.

And real healing requires going to the places you’d rather avoid.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)

Let’s stop bypassing.
Let’s start allowing Jesus to do the deep work.
That’s where true freedom and identity are found.

With Love and Grace,
Cyndi

Want to Go Deeper?

If this resonates with you—if this is your struggle—I invite you to explore inner healing, soul care, and the path to true freedom. You were made to walk in healing, not avoidance. Take some time to browse other blog posts here, as you may find exactly what your heart has been searching for. And be sure to check back—more resources will continue to be added to this section!